What must good men do?

Written by a man, who is a son, a brother, a husband, a dad, a uncle, and someone who am proud to call my family friend. Thank you Wayne.

Today my daughter turned 19. That is the same age as Uyinene, the young woman so brutally raped and killed right down the road from us.

Just like Uyinene, my daughter is in her first year of study at UCT and over the last few months I have watched her blossom from a hesitant, shy school girl to a young, vibrant, confident young woman. With this has come an independence and a need to lead her own life, go her own way...find her own way around the city.

Just like Uyinene's parents, we have birthed her, watched her grow and choose her future. She is filled with promise and still has her life ahead...she believes that she is still going to make her mark on the world...and I believe her. So I cannot even attempt to comprehend the pain and anguish that those parents must be feeling...I do not want to think about the pain, suffering and sheer terror that Uyinene must have endured.

Although crime is prevalent, I have always been able to find a reason to say that it can't happen to us...a gang shooting killing an innocent child - tragic but not in my backyard so we are ok. A child raped and killed in the township - tragic, but not in my backyard. A girl abducted from a nightclub in the early hours of the morning - my child doesn't hang out at such places so she is ok. I have lived with the knowledge and displayed the necessary outrage each time I have read about these tragedies...but I have done nothing to make a change.

Violence against women has become an every day occurrence. Not only do I have a daughter but I have a 13 year old daughter, a wife and an 82 year old mother. I love them all and will do anything and everything to protect them. And almost every male has a woman in his life that he loves, protects and coddles. So why does it seem to be ok to then treat woman like objects...something we can take, own and possess, and if not, abuse and kill.

I cannot keep the women in my life at home, locked behind closed doors. But I also cannot live in fear when they leave the house, to go to school, or church, or something as insignificant as going to fetch a parcel at the post office.

It is not good enough for me to only feel outraged every time and incident occurs. It is not good enough for me to rail against the incompetence of the police and how the country is going to hell in a handbasket. It is not good enough to spew venom and seek revenge...kill the killers.

But good men must do something. I truly believe that there are more good men than bad. But bad prevails because we do nothing. And so I urge you to join me in doing something. As a school community...dads to a whole school of young girls...we must do something. Something to stem the tide...deal with the fear that grips women every time they step outside, or are alone...or just do the ordinary things that women do....go to the shops, go for a run, go to school, the beach.

As I sit here writing this I am not absolutely sure what I must do, what we must do. But I do know that we must do something. So I ask sincerely, and anxiously...What must good men do?

Regards,

Shane Thom, CFP^® GTP(SA)™
Managing Partner: Integrated Wealthcare Advisor